This is a small complement site to another site called "It Probably Wasn't Important Anyway". Here I'll expand upon my movie listings on the parent site and make some informal, stream of consciousness notes on my thoughts. Think of it as Gonzo movie reviewing.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

Director: Robert Wise
Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, and the rest of the gang

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I decided some time ago that I needed to watch Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. I, surely, was the only nerd in the world not to have watched it. Everyone assured me that I needn't be a Star Trek fan to enjoy the guttural, "Khaaaaaan!" at the end of the film and that, in fact, the entire film was pretty bad-ass. I can say right now that the same is not true for the first film. As cool as it was to make the production titles and credits wait for the overture to finish, I didn't think this leisurely pace would continue for the whole film. Let me lay some times on you:

  • The trip from Earth to the Enterprise bay takes 4 minutes of screen time with no speech, character development, or plot development.

  • It takes about 40 minutes into the movie to get the fucking ship out of said bay.

  • Spock finally arrives and joins the crew nearly an hour into the film.

    Essentially it takes just over an hour for the movie to start picking up. After that, leave it to Shatner's syncopated speech to slow things down ("You mean...V'ger is...waitingforits.........Creator,................Mr. Spock?") This is why I favor Star Wars over Trek. Anyway, I needn't have bothered even watching the movie because it doesn't have anything to do with Wrath of Khan, so I hear. I apparently endured that episode stretched to two hours for nothing...

    ...wait for it...

    KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

    July 4
    computer, early morning

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    D

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